Oh for the love of Vicodin, could her life be any more of a car crash?

Stupid question.

I don’t know who thought this was a good idea, but last night Britney took her Mercedes out for a quick spin, and to the surprise of absolutely nobody whammed it straight into another car. The cops arrived, Britney was breathalized, but the machine must have not been working because she was released without charge.

I’m surprised she managed to back it out of the garage without killing someone.

Oh God – of course – that’s what’s next: she’s going to run someone down. They might as well arrest her for it now. Get a head start on the paperwork.